I don’t need help, I can do it myself.
I used to think that doing it all by myself was a sign of strength, of toughness and of will. I now know, in my wisened years, that I was full of sh*t.
Understanding that you may not have all the answers is growth. Problem solving is a skill, and realizing that other people’s experience and abilities is a substantial tool we can utilize is life-altering.
As children we’re praised and celebrated for learning to do things on our own. We’ve accomplished something when we can dress and feed ourselves, by ourselves. These “existence” skills are integral to our placement as contributing members of society. As we grow up, we supplement our existence skills by learning a wide variety of pertinent and valuable societal skills. We’ve solved many of our needs-based problems by becoming a consuming economy. We buy groceries because we don’t have the time, inclination or ability to grow our own food. We require that “help” in order to survive, and in return, we offer monetary compensation.
But what happens when we just can’t get it done? When what’s being asked of us or required from us, is simply too much, too hard, too unknown for us to fathom alone? Do we cower and live in our frustration, ignorance and inability, shaking our fists at the sky until some random person or entity comes to save us?
No, and do you know why?
No one is coming to save you.
You have to save yourself and that may mean you’ll have to ask for help. It sounds contradictory, but it’s not. Seeking assistance is the biggest act of self-care we can initiate. It can be as easy as joining a Facebook group dedicated to women professionals and typing a post looking for a particular piece of advice. It can be as effortless as stopping your co-worker on their way to the restroom and asking them which typeface is punchier. It can also be as thick and dark as tottering on the edge of depression and actually keeping an appointment with a counselor.
We often are much kinder to others than we are to ourselves. Stop that. Look around. The Universe wants to help you.
Asking for help is not weak. Needing help doesn’t mean you’re incapable, untalented or unqualified. It simply means that you’re a human looking to fill in some of the gaps. Seeking help, regardless of how teeny tiny or gargantuan the problem might be, is a powerful act of forward motion. Save yourself, make the ask.
LB Adams is the Founder of Practical Dramatics, and headquartered in Charleston, SC. Her company is happy to answer any questions you might have about communication training, team building or cake. We love cake, To learn more about growing profitable conversations, reach out to us at 843-771-0753.